apple pie ala mode

Question: how many of you cared about getting laid in high school?

I pose this question because a little while ago, my friends and I were bored and browsing through channels when we came upon American Pie. "Say," we said, our collective nostalgia seeping out of our pores, "we remember this movie as being pretty funny, and it's been a while since we've seen it. Let's give it a shot."

And so, we proceeded to watch a good 30-40 minutes of American Pie, up until shortly after the boys make their pact to get laid by prom night. That's when we realized: this movie really sucks.

Now, in high school, it was pretty funny. But then again, we were all kind of stupid and easily amused in high school. It's probably still true, though I'd like to think there's a higher level of class to our stupidity and easily amusedness.

(Above: Hey look! He fucks a pie! This MUST be a good movie!)

Besides the terrible acting (especially on Chris Klein's part - Gee. Zus.) and juvenile jokes, the entire premise just seemed...unbelievable to us.

Why? Well, to answer the question that I wrote in the beginning, none of us really cared about getting laid in high school.

It may be because we grew up in an academic-oriented bubble, or it may be because this get laid mentality has become an integral part of our media-centric culture. I suspect that it's a liberal dose of both.

Regardless, my friends and I found ourselves baffled at the movie, so much so that we even managed to shed our rose-tinted goggles and ask, "Why the hell did we ever enjoy this movie?"

Thinking about my friends who have been laid at some point in their lives, I don't think any of them ever did in high school. Nor do I think they were desperate to do so. They definitely didn't see it as a way to "become a man." (It's called puberty, yo).

Beyond the ridiculousness of the film, though, at least the characters had some kind of a goal. I can't even remember what the second movie was about. I can't even begin to imagine what it could be about.

And it didn't stop at the sequel, either. The film spawned another sequel and THREE spin-offs. Three. That's 6 films carrying the American Pie moniker, and if anyone out there has seen all 6 - shame on you.