two thumbs down

One thing that hella bugs me is when people ask questions during movies. An occasional question is fine, but when somebody can't seem to grasp any of the plot points, then the experience becomes frustrating. I can give fobs a bit more leniency since English isn't their first language, but there are no excuses for anybody born and raised in the US.

Part of this probably stems from the fact that everybody has a shortass attention span nowadays. "Who is this man?" Give it about 20 seconds and they'll introduce him. "Why did he steal the painting?" Well, they explained that about 15 minutes ago. And the worst: "What's going to happen?" That's why we watch the movie: to find out.

If the filmmakers do their job, then the end will unfold throughout most of the movie's runtime. Or, if they want to be all arty, the end will be revealed first, but the process getting there will be slowly revealed (ala Memento). Either way, a good film, like a good book, won't give everything away at once. If you're that impatient or lost, go to wikipedia, look up the plot summary, and please let me watch in peace.

This is why romantic comedies get panned more often than not - they're all the same, with slightly different gags and one-liners. To be fair, it's nice to watch a no-brainer movie once in a while, but don't agree to watch a movie that is potentially confusing unless you're going to shut your yap.

Questions, though, are not nearly as bad as just talking. My dad does this, which has resulted in me avoiding watching movies with him. He summarizes every little thing, like real-time Cliff Notes for movies. "Oh, that man just died." Yes, I know he just died. I saw him get shot. We all saw him get shot.

Other people just make snide remarks about everything. For certain films, like blockbuster films or B-movies, that's fine. But if I'm trying to watch a goddamn Charlie Kaufman film, do not fucking talk.

Basically, I've come to realize that I enjoy watching movies by myself.