status symbol

Oof haven't updated this in a while, so...apologies to the handful of people who bother checking.

Anyways, in light of Facebook's recent milestone of surpassing 500 million users, I thought I'd throw in a handy guide to writing status updates (hey, it works for Twitter, too!):

[General sentiment meant to suggest something poetic, but ultimately means nothing.]

ex: "Some people say live like you're dying. I say die like you're living."

[A quote that makes you look smart, but you're really just taking someone else's words.]

ex: "One could do worse than be a swinger of birches. - Robert Frost"

[Your plans for the evening, so that others can presumably plan their time around yours.]

ex: "Tonight I'll be in lab, then grab a quick dinner, try to take over the world, and sleep!"

[Incredibly trivial detail that nobody cares about.]

ex: "Blew my nose!"

[A question, because it's easier than, you know, actually talking to somebody.]

ex: "Hey, anybody want to hang out? ...I'm so lonely."

[COMPLAIN...about anything and everything!]

ex: "Ugh my life sucks."

ex2: "Sick again. Whyyyyy."

ex3: "I'm soooo bored."

ex4: "Geez people need to stop being so self-centered. Why can't they be more like me?"

Happy updating!