here we go again

Routine is a scary thing. Sure, phrases like "comfort zone" and "business as usual" get thrown about, but dig a little deeper and you'll see there's nothing really positive about them. People advise against getting too settled into said comfort zone, and business as usual? Usually referred to in disdain. 

I mention routine because I sprained my ankle and, for the past couple weeks, have been pretty much rooted in one spot for most of the day. While this isn't too different from my cubicle at work, the key thing that makes this routine a bit scary is that I have to take Ibuprofen twice a day. 

Now, when it comes to lunch, I've taken a pill from pretty much the same spot on the couch at basically the same time every day for a week and a half. And therein lies the problem of a routine - things start to blend together. A couple days ago, when I was getting ready to take my pill, a sudden panic struck me: didn't I already take a pill? My friend, who was there at the time, said that no, I had not taken a pill - at least, he didn't see me take one. However, when the pill rested on my palm, with the water bottle at the ready in the other hand, everything felt...too familiar. 

It was the exact same sensation I had experienced some 10 times in a row (for lunch, at least), and suddenly I wasn't entirely sure if I was going to dissolve my stomach lining by swallowing one more. 

I ended up taking the pill, and my stomach seems to be ok, so I guess I didn't take one before that after all. 

Today, though, I was set to take another pill after lunch. I knew for sure that I had not taken one. And yet, pill in palm, bottle in hand, that same weird feeling of dread bubbled up inside me. Is it still deja vu if it's happened a dozen times already? 

Unsettling, to say the least, but I guess at least it's known. It's set. That's why it's called a comfort zone. 

As for me, I'd stop taking my pills, but my foot still looks like a marshmallow (or 'ogre foot', as Aaron so eloquently put it).