the loneliest subject: the case of mr. morton

For anyone who remembers Schoolhouse Rock, there's a good chance you recall Mr. Morton. He was the unwitting tool used to teach children about subject and predicate through a catchy song,
and what amounts to a depressing reflection of real life.

If you don't recall or know 'The Tale of Mr. Morton', watch the video:




Now, upon first viewing, it seems like an innocent enough tale that ends happily. But delving into the video a little more yields a jarring conclusion: the viewer perceives them as living happily ever after because the narrator tells us so.

Think about the entire song. Mr. Morton is a lonely man. He is overweight, and he suffers from crippling shyness. The song states that Mr. Morton only knows one girl, and that's his neighbor Pearl. Presumably, Mr. Morton works a job, as he's seen walking home with a suit and briefcase. However, if Mr. Morton knows only one girl, it either means he's working in a sausage fest, or he has problems making friends. I'm inclined to go with the latter, seeing as how he's resorted to talking to his cat.

The thing about Pearl, too, is that Mr. Morton never speaks a single word to her. His reactions of blushing and running away when she waves signifies that this man is a social outcast with no chance of establishing a meaningful relationship.

Mr. Morton seems to take a step forward by writing a poem for Pearl, but closer inspection will reveal that he makes no progress - he is merely a pawn. Think about the chorus of the song: 'Mr. Morton is the subject of the sentence / And what the predicate says he does.' Every action Mr. Morton does is dictated by the narrator, whose omnipotent typewriter commands Mr. Morton to 'open' the door, 'blush' at Pearl, 'write' the poem, 'faint' at her response, and, ultimately, to 'live happily ever after.'

The thing is, Pearl proposed to Mr. Morton despite knowing next to nothing about him - how could she, after all, when he never talked to her? She took a risk, but once she does, she falls under the same control of the predicate that grasps Mr. Morton (the last line: 'They're the subject of the sentence / And what the predicate says they do').

As further proof that their marriage will not last, take a look at that last scene, where they are riding in the back of the bus. Now, watch the ending scene of The Graduate (relevant part starts at roughly 3:25 - and be warned, there are minor spoilers):



Benjamin and Elaine's fading smiles signify that they have no idea what they've gotten themselves into. And when 'The Sounds of Silence' starts playing in that scene, it underscores the inevitable falling out and unhappiness that will result from rushing into something neither were quite prepared for. The similarities between the endings of The Graduate and Mr. Morton tie them together, and Mr. Morton and Pearl will implicitly fall into the dregs of an unhappy marriage.

Add in the fact that they are supposed to do what the predicate tells them to, and they become victims of what is expected of them, ultimately leading to a hollow union between two incredibly lonely people.